


He's Gone

by thealwaysandforever



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Caring Dean, Caring Sam, Castiel In Love, Castiel and Dean in Love, Crying Castiel, Crying Sam, Crying Sam Winchester, Dean In Love, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Family, Human Castiel, Hurt Castiel, Hurt Sam Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Sorry Castiel, I'm Sorry Sam, Loss, Love, M/M, Men Crying, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 06:49:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2419073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealwaysandforever/pseuds/thealwaysandforever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Talk to me Cas. You can’t keep doing this.” </p><p>If Castiel listens hard enough, focuses on the syllables that spill from Sam’s lips close enough, he finds that Dean lingers there. Somewhere lost in his younger brothers way of talking, Dean tries to reach him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He's Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Binge watching Supernatural has brought this on. I swear I didn't mean to, but it happened. Enjoy? :)

Two weeks and eight days. 26 hours, 12 minutes and 8 seconds. Now 9. Now 10.

Castiel has not left the house in two weeks and eight days. 26 hours, 12 minutes and now 18 seconds. 19. 20.

He has cocooned himself on Dean’s side of the bed, nestled deeply into the mattress wishing- _praying_ , that the tight snug fit will begin to piece him back together. Or at least swallow him into a slumber where Dean is okay. Still breathing and on his way home.

A strangled cry is trapped in Castiel’s throat. Having ripped and torn from the pit of his stomach upward and it burns. He keeps it stuck there. Does not give it permission to make this real because it isn’t. It _can’t_ be real.

“Cas?” The blankets begin to fall away. The cold air assaults his body and he hates Sam for it. Castiel was warm here. Dean was holding him here for just a moment longer and Sam just took that from him.

“Talk to me Cas. You can’t keep doing this.”

If Castiel listens hard enough, focuses on the syllables that spill from Sam’s lips close enough, he finds that Dean lingers there. Somewhere lost in his younger brothers way of talking, Dean tries to reach him.

“Please Cas. Dean wouldn’t want this- he wouldn’t want you to be like this.” Sam stands in front of the bed, shoulders sagging and eyes bloodshot due to lack of sleep. Castiel watches him.

“Right after he was stabbed, he was able to say a few things Cas,” Sam doesn’t fight the tears that fall,”he said he was proud of us. He said, _’Sammy-_ ” the youngest Winchester hiccups through his soft sob,”he said,’ _Sammy, tell Cas I love him. Tell him that he has always been my angel. Tell him Sammy, please, tell Castiel to keep going for me. I love him Sam, please.’_ ”

__

The deep rumble moans and loud screams erupt from Castiel’s mouth with no warning. The deafening sounds make Sam flinch, but he reaches for Cas. He holds Cas even when the punches begin to land on his chest and his face. He wraps his arms around him and squeezes tightly.

“DEAN!”

“I know Cas, I know..”

“DEAN!”

“Let it out, that’s it.”

“DEAN!”

“It’s okay Cas, it’s gonna be okay. We’ll get through this.”

“BUT HE’S MY LIFE SAM! DEAN! He’s my love..”

Sam only leaves the room when Castiel has cried and screamed himself to sleep. He tucks Cas in and trudges slowly to his room with no intention of sleeping tonight either. It’s been almost three weeks that Dean was killed in front of him and he’s empty. The numbness settled in the second he felt Dean go cold in his arms and now there is nothing.

They had to get through this. There had to be a way to get through the days without feeling like this, but there are so many damned shadows. Shadows of Dean reflected in the hallways if you squinted hard enough. His smell trapped within Castiel latching onto every surface or object willing to hold him.

They had to get through this. For Dean.

 **  
**Until then, Sam lays on his back. The mattress cold and stiff under his large frame. He listens to the muffled sounds of Castiel’s voice calling for Dean all night and sometimes, when Sam doesn’t have the strength to drown out the cries anymore, he can hear Dean singing. His brothers voice warms the home and this. This lulls him to finally sleep.


End file.
